I really have avoided updating lately because my emotions are so raw. I have worked really hard over the last several years to stay positive, trust in God, keep a smile on my face and be a positive influence in the lives of those I touch. Over the last several months that has become increasingly difficult. Because I hate to ask anyone for help and I don't want to bring anyone down, for the first time in my life I have turned inward. I have talked to people less, been on the computer less and definitely blogged less. Some of you already know why I have been in a funk, but I will let the rest of you in. Over the last two years our financial situation has deteriorated. We have been incredibly blessed numerous times with financial help from family members, some special friends and some angels who choose to remain anonymous. Because of these blessings we have avoided the situation we are in now for a lot longer then we thought possible. However, at this point we are on the verge of losing our house and are barely hanging on to our car. While I would be sad with these realities in any circumstances, it is absolutely petrifying considering Alex's health. We have been trying to work with our mortgage company, but so far they have been unwilling to modify the terms of our loan to help us stay in the house. So needless to say I have a heavy heart. I am continuing to have faith that God's plan is the perfect one for our lives and that he knows the outcome.
So now you know why my blogging has been less then stellar....But in the meantime we have also mananged to have some good times. First and foremost, our Mimi was here this past week. There is nothing Buggy and I love more then time with our Mimi! The relationship between Alex and my Mom is one of the most pure, loving relationships I have ever had the privilege of witnessing. They just light up in each others company. To me it is so bittersweet. I love to watch the love between them, but am saddened that the visits are so few and far between. My most fervent wish is that someday we will be closer together.
Mom- Thank you for always making my Buggy feel so loved and special. Everything we do is better when you are here. I love you.
So while Mom was here we went to a Christmas parade, went on a trip with cub scouts to the fire house, went bowling, went rollerskating, rode on a horse and buggy and had three visits with Santa. All with a 48 hr hospital stay squeezed in the middle (more on this in a minute). How's that for busy! We have also continued with school and had the joy of spending an afternoon with playgroup.
We have a few quiet days to recoup and then Grandpa will be here Wednesday to stay through Christmas!
Medically things have been OK... Alex continues to have seizures on an almost daily basis. His feeds are stuck 5 cc lower then our baseline. His belly hurts and is distended. But he has stayed relatively healthy and his energy levels have been decent. We had to make a quick trip to the hospital for an observation. Alex's OCD (obsessive Compulsive Disorder) and anxiety has been much worse over the last few months. He is seeing a behavioral therapist, but we also decided it was time to start a medication. Because he has had SO many anaphylactic reactions to medications in the past, his doctors decided the safest thing to do was admit him and watch as he received the first few doses. He did great and we have seen an improvement in his symptoms.
We have a ton of medical stuff coming up in January, but I will post on that another time.
Thank you for all the love you have shown our family and for your patience with me during this trying time. I know I have not been a good friend to many of you while I try and work through this hard time.
PS- A very special thank you to Missy for working really hard to set up a donation account to try and help us. The Knights have been such loyal, good friends to us in so many ways. They continue to show us the true love of good friends as they do everything in there power to help us through this stretch.