Alex and Maddy

Alex and Maddy

Sunday, March 3, 2024

A hard few weeks

 For much of the past 16 years I have openly and honestly shared the highs and lows of this amazing and often unchartered path that the Lord has set before us to walk. I have chosen to share both the fears and the blessings that have come as I navigate raising two medically fragile children. I have been candid as we walked through Bruce's colon cancer and when we have struggled through unemployment. But this last season has been a bit harder for me to share...Those who know me know I don't like to complain, I like to care for and love those around me and struggle to ask for help. But a dear friend told me many years ago that God places people in our lives to walk along with us and when we don't allow them to help us, we are robbing them of the joy and the call of helping that God has placed on their hearts.

So, all of that to say that I need to share a bit about the past few weeks. As most of you know, I have had some health challenges of my own over the past 18 months. What started as inflammatory arthritis (which was diagnosed as Rheumatoid Arthritis) led into the start of GI issues which initially we thought were medication related. As the nausea, loss of appetite and weight loss continued after making multiple medication changes, we began to do more testing which led to having my gallbladder removed in July. However, although the nausea subsided, I continued to have no appetite, lose weight and started to struggle with difficulties swallowing and feeling like food was getting stuck along with pretty significant pain after eating and drinking. For most of the last six months I have lived on soup and protein shakes and continued to try and find answers. As I continued to deteriorate, I sought out new doctors. In January I started with a new PCP and GI. My closest friends and family have been increasingly concerned and at times pushed me to seek further help when I wanted to just climb in the bed. My new PCP and his PA have been phenomenal have vowed to help me find answers and get back to living a life full of joy. Two weeks ago, my PA asked why no one had looked at my neck and throat area in all this time. And so, she sent me for an ultrasound of my Thyroid the following day. I was shocked when she called to let me know that they found a "highly suspicious" nodule on my thyroid that needed to be biopsied ASAP. I had that biopsy on February 23rd. It was a long hard week waiting on results, but I am so incredibly grateful that we got the news Friday that the nodule is benign. I have a few more tests to go through and then will likely have surgery to remove half of my thyroid in hopes that my swallowing will improve. My PA and GI also have some thoughts on the pain, and I am going through testing to try and get answers/relief. I have lost 41 pounds since all of this started and weigh less now than I did when I graduated college. It has been very hard for my family and closest friends to watch me struggle and walk through this. None more so than Maddy. For my husband and kids, I have always been their rock and the one who handles all the stress of life and helps them to remember to find the blessings and joy in our life. With me on the sideline's life has been a little shaky in their world. But as always, I can look at this period and find the good. I have seen my son mature and grow and reverse rolls with me these last few weeks. I will always treasure the messages he sent reminding me to lean on my faith and talk to him and not carry the weight alone. My closest friend has allowed me to be open and honest and cry when I needed to and push for answers when I wanted to give up. To have a friend you can be 100% authentic with is priceless. I have had friends who have walked this medical journey with me for years help me brainstorm and research and try and figure out where else to turn. And through it all I have leaned into my faith trusting that I will find answers and healing in God's time. 

Enough about me...

Alex continues to thrive at school and is really loving this time in his life. It has brought me so much joy to watch him finding good friends, enjoying his classes and plugging in in all different areas of school. As has always been his way he is not afraid to be himself and do what makes him happy even if his friends don't want to. When God created Alex, he made him to not care what others think and to march to his own beat fully confident in who he is. He has been this way since a very young age, and it is amazing to see. I marvel at his self-confidence and ability to choose his path without regard for what others think. We could all learn from him!

As I mentioned, Maddy has struggled the most with my health issues, but I am so grateful she has adults she can trust and be honest with. She has turned to her most trusted people and shared her fears. We have seen her grow and mature over this time. She is no longer my baby, and I am enjoying watching her take on more responsibility and independence. Maddy had a horse show last weekend. Leading up to it we weren't sure if she was going to compete or choose to sit this one out as she was having a hard time emotionally and we were seeing the fallout of that at the barn. Ultimately, she made the choice to focus on her relationship with her horse and becoming a better rider and make PD a better horse and not worry about placings or the "show". She did an incredible job as we watched PD try and do what she wanted and time after time Maddy showed her who was boss and PD started to respect her as the leader in their partnership. The success of that show led to two amazing rides Monday and Tuesday! On Thursday Maddy underwent some oral surgery as she had some baby teeth that did not want to budge! She had 7 teeth pulled and was a rock star! We still went to the barn on Friday, but she did not ride as she was still not 100% after anesthesia. I was extremely proud of her for making a mature decision and asking Tammi if they could just do groundwork since she wasn't feeling great and she didn't want to take steps backwards with PD. As I said my sassy little firecracker is growing up!






Please continue for answers and healing for me and for the kids during the times. There are not enough words to thank my family and friends who have been there day in and day out through this rough time and to those of you who have checked in and encouraged us during this time. I am blessed that God has filled my life with amazing people who have chosen to be a part of our journey. My life is better because of the people who walk alongside me.

Ali


Saturday, February 10, 2024

Much the same

 Not much has happened over the past few weeks. Everyone is back in the swing of regular life.  

Alex is loving his classes and professors this semester. He is not calling or coming home as often as he was last semester. I am loving watching him spread his wings and continue to become more independent and comfortable at school. His intended major is Forensic Psychology. He has a class in his major this semester: Criminology. He is loving every minute of it. This week he went on a trip to the Dallas Fusion center to tour their facility that provides real time intel to officers in the field and also monitors for potential terrorist activity in the DFW area. Alex connected with the chief and was able to ask about the logistics of working in Forensic Psychology with a disability. 



Maddy is hard at work in school, dance and at the barn. She is back to riding her beloved PD and continues to enjoy the challenge of learning new things. She loves to be at the barn and always asks for more barn chores to complete. I love that her passion is not just for riding, but for all areas of horsemanship. She never shies away from the hard work involved in owning and training horses. Watching her live her dream and grow is so amazing. 




I am continuing to struggle health wise. I don't have any answers and am just holding on to hope and trusting that answers are forth coming, and I can get back to living life. In the meantime, I would appreciate continued prayers for answers and healing. 

Ali

Saturday, January 27, 2024

Quick Update

 Wanted to get out a quick update on everyone...

Alex has started his second semester and is loving life at DBU even more than first semester. Having a successful semester under his belt has given him some confidence in his ability to thrive in this academic setting. He loves all of his classes and professors (Praise God) and is happy to be back living with his best friends. I hardly hear from him during the week, and it is such sweet silence as I know it means he is spreading his wings and fining his way without needing me as his constant partner. he is taking a full course load, has accepted a volunteer position mentoring high school students and has applied once again for a unique housing arrangement for next year. The housing is very similar to Stone House (where he lives currently) but is for students who have completed their freshman year. He has loved the living learning community and building close relationships as they live together, pray together and learn together. I still have to pinch myself sometimes that Alex is living this life that seemed impossible just a few short years ago. God is so good, and I love watching him work in and through my son.

When your son is in college, a happy selfie is the only pic you have!

After the LONGEST Christmas break ever, Maddy is back in school. Her classmates started back the second week of January while we were at Chisholm Challenge. Then the following week we had some snow and water issues, so this week was her first week back since she got out on December 13th!!! She was a little nervous but had two good days and was happy to see her friends. She is also back in Auditory Rehab and Dance and Art, so our crazy schedule is back in full swing. The biggest news is from the barn. After just shy of 4 months, Maddy was able to get back to riding her beloved PD this past week. Maddy has been involved in hippotherapy and/or equine therapy for over 4 years. In that time, she has ridden 18 horses!!! And while she has learned something from each and every one, she has never connected with a horse the way she has with PD. While she has diligently cared for PD over the past few months, she missed riding her. The smiles this week have been big and plentiful. We are incredibly grateful that we have multiple horses in our program so Maddy always had a horse to ride, but there is something special when she rides "her" horse.






As for me things are much the same. Unfortunately trying to find answers and treatments in the medical world is often a slow process and I am just trying to keep myself in a safe state and out of the hospital as we continue to try and find a way for me to once again eat normal food in normal quantities. Thank you to those who have checked in and offered help. It is very much noticed and appreciated. 

As for Bruce...he is working and playing soccer and trying to figure out how to pick up the slack with me not able to do as much as usual.

I ask for prayers for Alex to continue to thrive and for his housing to work out for next year; for Maddy and her anxiety as she is scheduled to get braces on Tuesday and is pretty nervous; and for me to find answers and healing. I really miss food!

Thank you for being a part of our story and blessing our lives with your love and friendship!

Ali