Some answers and more questions

 Somehow another week has come and gone. I am not going to lie it has been a bit of a struggle bus kind of week. But first let me start with the good...

Maddy is doing phenomenal at her new barn. Her and Mandy have hit it off and I am amazed at how quickly Maddy has taken to her and is so comfortable and even talking and answering questions! I have seen huge smiles every time we are at the barn, and she cannot wait to go back. Even things that have typically caused anxiety have been "fun" and it is so good for my heart to watch! She has been so cute riding Gogo and they have done so well together, but Maddy has been anxiously awaiting the arrival of a new horse to try. She arrived right as Maddy's lesson was ending yesterday and Maddy got a chance to meet her and cannot wait to get to try her out on Wednesday! Maddy also has worked hard over the past month to stop sucking her thumb. It has now been about a month, and she is no longer taking Hannah anywhere! She earned herself a phone this week as that was my deal with her! We also got to spend some time with our beloved Mrs. Mitchell this week catching up and enjoying ice cream. 

Maddy and her new phone

We love our Mrs. Mitchell!

Nichole (one of Maddy's former volunteers) came to hang out and watch her ride.

Maddy and Gogo

Maddy meeting Lila

100% true

As for Alex, he is trekking along. We are catching up on a bunch of appointments that are hard to fit in during the school year. He is spending lots of time with his sister and just relaxing. He did get some hard news as his best friend and roommate is not coming back to DBU this semester. He is hoping to return in the spring. 

I have had a rough few weeks. Starting when I was at my mom's house, I could not keep my eyes open in the afternoon. I was falling asleep for hours every afternoon and that has continued. I also have been losing feeling in my fingers intermittently. I sent my PCP a message last weekend and she wanted to see me. She ran a huge slew of labs. I received those results yesterday. My thyroid is not compensating since my surgery, so the first order of business is to start thyroid replacement. But these labs also brought up some other concerns. So, while we wait for the results of the camera study which will hopefully be back in the next few weeks, she has ordered some additional studies and appointments. They have been wanting a brain MRI since January, but it has been denied 3 times. At this point it has to be done. I am hoping we can get insurance to approve it, but if not, I will have to pay out of pocket because we cannot wait any longer. I also need an MRI of my liver and have to go back to Hematology. 

The kids and I leave tomorrow for several days of appointments in Houston. I would ask for prayers for safe travels for us, good appointments and continued prayers for answers and treatment for me.

Thank you for all the ways you surround us in love and support.

Ali

Blessings and Answered Prayers

 This week has been a week of blessings and answered prayers on several fronts. 

When we received the letter from Living Hope Equine Therapy the last week of May, Maddy was devastated. The rug was ripped out from under her as in one swoop she lost her heart horse, the adult she loved and trusted the most besides family, and the barn family we had built over the past few years. She was not even sure she wanted to continue riding initially as she was so very sad and scared about moving on. As I grappled with my own emotions, I quickly sprang into action and reached out to one of the only other programs who shows with their EWD riders. And I prayed so many prayers. Initially my prayer was just that Mandy would accept Maddy into the Stable Strides Farm program and then that Maddy would find a horse she connects with and that she would develop a trusting relationship with Mandy and not let the past affect her ability to bond. Prior to our first time to Stable Strides, Mandy and I had multiple conversations over phone and text as we discussed Maddy, set goals and talked about how to help her through this transition. I was already feeling much better following those conversations, but nothing prepared me for this week. Oh, how my prayers have been answered. As I blogged on Monday, Maddy had a great first lesson (in a group) and showed no signs of fear or anxiety. Wednesday and Friday she had private lessons and that relationship I prayed for has already begun to form. Mandy is kind, she is encouraging, and she is fun. Her greatest concern is Maddy's heart and making sure she is okay emotionally. Maddy has responded so well to her approach. I have watched my shy little girl who usually takes weeks to even speak to someone talk openly and honestly with Mandy. She has smiled through lessons, let Mandy know when something is hard or scary, answered questions and had so much fun. Each day she has begun counting down to when we go back. Maddy is not sure that Gogo is her next horse, but she has enjoyed riding him and they have been so cute together. He has one behavior that keeps her from being 100%, but it is nice to see her riding and smiling and thriving. As a mom my greatest desire is for my kids to know they are loved and to be kind and work hard to chase after their goals and dreams. I have seen all of that and more this week and I couldn't be more grateful.

As the last few months have transpired, our church friends have been a constant source of strength, friendship and laughter. So having VBS and MNO this week was also just what our souls needed. We love having a church family that celebrates life's joys with us and holds us up during hard times.

When Alex made the decision to attend DBU we were certain it was the perfect school for him. Our one concern was the cost associated with attending a private university. But more than 80% of his total costs were covered by scholarships his freshman year. Some of those scholarships are 4-year scholarships, but some were one-time scholarships so as we moved into next year, we were closer to 50% of his costs covered. I continued to hope and pray we could find more funds as we would like for Alex to not come out of school with huge student loans. Thursday, I received an email from the director of private scholarships that she had awarded an additional scholarship to Alex and that we would be receiving a call from the Chancellor's office about an additional award they have decided to give based on his character and faith. As Alex was considering schools, I asked God to make it abundantly clear that Alex was exactly where he wanted him and where he could use him, and we continue to see that prayer answered. So grateful to DBU and the staff and students who have embraced Alex and made this first year more miraculous than I could have imagined. 

Finally, a few prayer requests. I feel like a broken record, but please pray for answers and treatment for me. I completed my camera study, but results take 3-4 weeks as the GI has to review more than 5000 images. I continue to struggle with significant pain, nausea and awful fatigue. I would also ask that you pray for Bruce. During his six month scans they saw a lymph node that had increased slightly since his last scan. His oncologist is not very concerned but does feel additional scans are necessary. Please pray for this to be an incidental finding. Finally, the kids and I are headed to Houston next weekend for a few appointments. Please pray for safe travels.

Thank you for continuing to walk with us through our crazy life as we try every day to choose joy and be kind to a hurting world.

Ali

A New Adventure

 Today marked the beginning of a new adventure. Maddy had her first lesson at the new barn. It went better than I ever could have imagined! Over the past few weeks as I have reflected about what Maddy wants and needs and how best to support her during this transition and had conversations with her new coach, we quickly decided that it would be best for us to lease a horse so Maddy can still feel like she has her own horse. By leasing a horse, she is ensured she can show her horse and use her horse for all of her lessons. We had a horse that we knew might be a good fit, but on Friday Mandy received a call that she was going to be getting a new horse at the end of the month who also might be a good fit. Today Maddy met and rode the initial horse we considered. They were VERY cute together! Gogo is a 16-hand gray paint who is very talented. They were very good together at the walk/trot and got better as the lesson went on. Maddy even loped a little, but his lope is REALLY BIG and he probably isn't the best choice for her loping since she is so new to loping and so little. Maddy really enjoyed riding him, but after talking with Mandy she will definitely try Lila when she arrives at the end of the month before we determine which horse is the better option as far as Maddy feeling connected and also trying to meet the goals she has set.  Maddy was in a group lesson at a new barn, with a new coach on a new horse and she was NOT nervous at all! I wouldn't even have believed that was possible if you had told me! Mandy's coaching style and temperament were very good for Maddy, and the other riders were both good riders and Maddy just enjoyed the whole experience! What a beautiful answer to prayer. When we got home her first words were "I can't wait to go back"!!! Enjoy the following pictures of Maddy and Gogo!

Thank you for every one that has prayed for this sweet girl and over this situation over the past few weeks. We are so excited to see where this path takes us as we continue to trust in God's perfect plan!

Ali

Home Sweet Home

 We are home after our trip to visit Mimi. We enjoyed time together doing our favorite things and reminiscing about our traditions and time with PopPop creating memories.

On the 6th we took Maddy to a Tea Room.

On the 7th we hit the beach and played miniature golf

On the 8th we celebrated Alex's birthday with a dolphin cruise on the sea screamer, ice cream and a yummy dinner.

On the 9th it was back to the beach!

The 10th meant some horse time for Maddy and a quiet day for Alex.

The 11th meant another day at the beach.

Yesterday we drove go karts and played miniature golf before heading home!

This trip was exactly what we needed physically and emotionally. Time spent together laughing and creating memories and a bit of relaxation!

As this coming week marks the beginning of a new adventure, I would ask for some prayer requests. One for long awaited results and a treatment plan to get me feeling better. And most importantly for my sweet girl. As I touched on two weeks ago, Maddy is not a child who has loved and trusted easily. She has kept her circle very small, and it takes her time to build relationships. Having arguably the adult she trusted and loved most beside me, Bruce and my mom betray her and break the trust they had built over 3 years is a hard reality that she is facing. She was also taken away from a group she had learned to love and be comfortable with through no fault of her own. Please pray for her to make new connections as we join our new barn and to not let the actions of those who have hurt her impede her ability to build trust and relationships moving forward. This would be hard on anyone let alone a sweet, shy 10-year-old who is trying to find her way in an uncertain world. If you see Maddy over this next little bit, please do all you can to love on her and encourage her as she finds her way. I have reassured her that while many people in this world will disappoint and hurt us, we serve a loving God who works all things according to his plan and purpose and for our good. I am trusting that God's mercy and love will shine brightly through this transition, and we will have more opportunities to shine his light and glorify him as we move on.

Ali