So Much Good

 There are certain times in life when you just realize how much good you are surrounded by, and you can't help but be grateful for the people and experiences in life that make each day better.

In the Beckwith household these last few weeks have been like this. Both kids are back in school, we are back to our regular schedule and there has been much to be thankful for.

Alex officially moved back to campus while Maddy and I were in Tulsa, but this week was the first week to resume classes. I have to stop sometimes and think about what a true miracle this time is for Alex. There were so many days, months, and years where even keeping Alex alive seemed like such a daunting task. Having lived through so much struggle and so much sickness makes this time mean so much more. Not only is Alex SO happy at DBU, but I am watching him grow in independence and maturity all the time. Alex has always been a people person. Like me, connecting with people and finding people to live life with fills his soul. He is really enjoying his new roommate; he loves his classes (even math which he was dreading) and he gets to know all of his professors and classmates. I don't know anyone who loves learning like Alex does. He thrives on digging deep into topics that interest him and asking hard, philosophical questions. His professors have all gotten to know Alex and appreciate his intellect, his curiosity, and mostly his joy for life which is apparent in everything he does. He continues to grow in his faith and has surpassed me in his knowledge of the bible and biblical times. Alex has always been so true to his authentic self and that continues. He is excited to continue his major in Psychology and has decided to pursue two minors: History and Biblical Studies. He knows what he wants and what is important to him, and he goes after if without feeling the need to explain himself or be accepted by others. I always say he was born without the gene to care what others think and it is so special to watch. Last year, first semester was a challenge as he tried to navigate a foreign world having never been in a traditional classroom. He struggled with organization and time management and needed my help to stay on top of things. We saw huge improvement second semester as he made huge improvements in staying on top of his work and figuring out a schedule that worked for him, but there were still areas where he had some struggles like getting all of his reading done and keeping his room from turning into a disaster zone (I cannot begin to explain how much space all of his medical supplies take and the trash that builds up as you use supplies). As this semester started, we talked about trying to do a better job in these areas and he has stepped up amazingly well. He actually started reading for his classes before the semester began and Bruce said his room is very neat for a college male! I continue to be incredibly proud of him in all areas.

Alex and one of his favorite Professors

Oh my Moo...I am equally as proud of her. She is so very different from her brother, but equally as special. What started as heartbreak and devastation two and a half months ago has turned into so much growth and so much joy. I am watching my sweet girl overcome so many challenges and absolutely thrive in our new barn. Her riding skills are improving each lesson, but it is so much more than that. For the first time I am watching her ride without debilitating anxiety. I am watching her form connections and push through the shyness to speak to others, to make friends and even to throw some sass at a few.  She is conquering challenges that used to result in tears and so much fear she had to stop at times, and she is doing it all with a huge grin on her face. The best example I can think of was earlier this week. She used to panic if more than 2 other riders she knew and trusted were in the arena with her. She HATED it and would often cry or ask to be done riding. She would dread going to the barn if she thought she might have to ride with others. The fear kept her from enjoying what she loves most in the world. On Tuesday the heat was horrific. So, three trainers and about 8 riders were all sharing the covered arena. Maddy rode both English and Western, learned some new skills, navigated the traffic of other riders and multiple times yelled "this is so fun" as she came by me! She trusts her coach, she trusts her horse and she loves the calm, positive environment where she is constantly encouraged and pushed in a way that builds her up. I have been brought to tears multiple times seeing the joy in her and knowing how hard it has been for her at times. She is constantly telling me how happy she is and how much she loves Lila and all the people that are a part of Stable Strides. 

She also started school this week. She has a seasoned teacher with exceptional classroom management which she loves. The kids are allowed to choose their own seats so she sits next to her best friend, and they are working towards study skills and independence that will prepare them for Middle School and beyond. Maddy's school is the perfect fit for her. From the small classes to the schedule, to the focus on faith and learning in a way that honors God, and to the staff who love Maddy and understand her challenges and work with her to make her successful. She was also happy to jump back in Dace and Art with her beloved Ms. Joli and Children's Choir. Have I mentioned this child keeps me busy? But what a gift it is that I have been able to be so involved in the lives of both of my children. I love spending time with them and helping them grow into the amazing humans God created them to be. 

I have had multiple people reach out to ask about my health. There is really no change or any results to report. I have two appointments this week and am hoping to maybe start getting some answers, but I am choosing to accept that this is my new normal and while I wish I felt better physically, I have two perfect examples of Choosing Joy and to push through and live even when you don't feel great. I am also trying to do a better job of taking time for me...to rest, to fill my cup and to do what I can to manage my health. For most of my life I have given and given to everyone else and taken care of so many and I believe this is a time for me to take of myself. In some ways, I think my health has tanked because I was constantly doing for others. At this point my body gives me no choice but to take care of me too.

I am so very grateful for our village. Thank you to those who have wiped my tears, those who continue to pray for us and those who are so genuinely happy for us when times are good. My life is better because of the people who walk this journey with me.

Ali