Healing and hope for the future

As I have shared several times, the past few months have caused a lot of heartache and hurt for Maddy and I. I have watched Maddy grieve the loss of her heart horse without a chance to say goodbye. We saw people we considered friends and family push us aside without a second thought. We lost a program we helped build from its very beginning and a circle that we had walked through life with over several years. Maddy witnessed and heard conversations and behaviors that left her questioning many things. I have had to have many tough conversations and try to make sense of a situation that I don't even understand. In so many ways we walked into Stable Strides broken and afraid of more hurt.

When I first reached out to Mandy at the end of May, one of our very first conversations centered on making sure we took care of Maddy's heart during this transition. This week I watched as not only was that at the focus, but I watched Maddy bloom in ways I didn't expect so soon. This week started with some uncertainty and fear and left us with so much goodness and hope. Horse shows are hard. The days are long. It is hot. It is exhausting. There is a lot of hurry up and wait and then hurry up again. Maddy and I had only ever done a show with one group. So, we were a bit unsure of what to expect and how we would be received. The answer is we were welcomed with open arms and a lot of love. We joined a group who has been "family" for a long time. Mandy's initial riders are still with her 23 years later. Many of her riders have been with her upwards of 8-10 years and most more than 5 years. At times Maddy and I held back as I didn't want to insert myself among a group with long standing relationships. Each time I sat alone someone stepped away from the group to come chat with me and make me feel included. I watched Maddy who at times take months or years to be comfortable speaking to new people not only speak but say what she needed. I watched her joke around with Mandy, her daughters and other parents and riders.  I watched as Mandy and her girls allowed Maddy to participate in every aspect of care and show prep with Lila. While I know it would be so much easier to do it all without a 10 y.o. underfoot they took the time to slow down, to teach, and to help a little girl feel included. Maddy was allowed to feed Lila, she polished and conditioned her tack, she groomed, she helped tack, she learned how to attach Lila's tail for the show, she gave baths, she was included in each step with smiles and open arms. 

grooming

bath time

conditioning her English saddle

grooming

Prepping Lila to show

For those unfamiliar with horseback riding and competing it is truly a partnership between horse and rider and trainer. Each horse is a little different in their cues and how much input they need based on if they are very energetic or a bit lazy. There is a constant learning curve and as the relationship grows the horse and rider can communicate more effectively. In many ways it is the same between rider and coach, each rider needs different support and communication and some of that takes time to learn. Maddy and Mandy have only been together for one month and Maddy only had 4 lessons on Lila before leaving for this show. We stressed to Maddy over and over that this was just for us to all learn and figure each other out. Maddy and Lila did incredibly well considering all the variables and the fact that Maddy was comfortable to let Mandy know what she wanted and needed was amazing! 

The first night of trail practice as 25 riders all entered the arena and started working on obstacles and going different directions, I saw Maddy's lip quivering and tears starting to fall. I asked one of Mandy's daughters to walk with her because I knew she was really scared. Caroline spent the next hour talking to Maddy and reassuring her. I saw parent after parent go up to her and give her high fives and encourage her and remind her she could do this. I had parents reassure me. And when she told Mandy she wanted to wait till the arena was less busy to practice her pattern, Mandy allowed her to go last so she would feel more secure. When Maddy competed in trail on Sunday and did a beautiful pattern earning her the title of World Champion, my eyes filled with tears at the genuine excitement and congratulations from the other parents who were truly happy for my little girl. I watched Maddy give Mandy a hard time and "fight" with her about her "lucky spurs". I watched her joke and give a little sass to Katie and Katie give it back. I watched her call one of the parents trouble. I watched as she hung out with other riders. I watched riders helping one another when someone was struggling.  I watched hugs and laughing and so much support and camaraderie between the riders and families. I saw my anxious little girl smiling and laughing and dancing in the arena as she waited with her new friends and volunteers.

Maddy will tell you Mandy is a lot less vicious with bobby pins!

We love Erin!

Maddy and Mackenzie playing a horse game together

Maddy, Mackenzie and Darby ready for trail

Ready for trail

Mandy putting on her "lucky spurs"

Walking trail

Ready for English

Maddy and Mackenzie before English

Maddy and Katie dancing while waiting for awards

I cannot count the number of times I heard Mandy check in and make sure her heart and her tummy were okay always aware that her emotional wellbeing matters so much more than any placing. And I saw her heart start to heal as she found another horse to love and grow with. This week was a week of healing and hope and excitement for the future. I am exhausted, but my heart is full thanks to a family that opened their circle to allow us in when we so desperately needed it.

So much love between Maddy and Lila!