World Champion

 Maddy had an AMAZING horse show this weekend! Many times, after horse shows I don't post the results or talk about where Maddy placed. There are many reasons for this: I don't want to focus on placings, because that is not what matters. I also know that all of the riders work hard, and I never want any other riders or parents to feel bad about their placings. But ultimately, I realized that is a disservice to Maddy. She works her butt off, and she should be acknowledged for her accomplishments. So, bear with me as I share about this incredible weekend. 

Maddy walked away this weekend with three World Championship Titles! 

To understand what this means you have to go back to when she was an infant. Maddy struggled physically from the very beginning. This little girl couldn't crawl until she was 15 months old. She walked with a walker before she could walk independently. For most of her first five years she had physical therapy 3-4 days a week. At one point her therapists told me it was only through sheer will and determination that she was able to become mobile. 

That same determined spirit is what I witness every day. What we don't share often is what this child battles daily. More mornings than not, she wakes up with what she calls "morning legs".  Her legs are so weak and unstable that I have to physically help her get out of bed and to the bathroom. Almost every day she struggles with migraines and knee and ankle pain that are brutal. Often hours after she has first told me she is hurting; she will quietly tell me she is still hurting despite any interventions we have tried. She has dizziness and lightheadness that makes it hard for her to do many tasks that we consider routine. And yet she chooses to quietly push on regardless of how bad she feels. I can't begin to count the number of lessons she will finish a ride and burst into tears and Tammi and I will look at each other trying to figure out what is wrong. When we finally get her to open up, she will tell us that she is hurting so bad, but she never tells us willingly or before her lesson is done because she refuses to quit riding or get off her horse. 

I see that same determination in so many ways at the barn. That tiny little girl who weighs 55 pounds carries her own saddle and halters and bridles her own horse. Not one bit of it has come easy. It has come through hard work and perseverance and sweat and tears. I saw it so clearly yesterday. When Cooper was donated Living Hope, I asked Tammi if Maddy would ride him, and she said maybe one day. She doesn't have enough leg to ride him. Which is horse speak for she is too weak to make him do what he needs too. And in all honesty, she is still too weak. If anything, she has lost some strength over the past few months not gained. But her tenacity and heart and work ethic have taught us that nothing is impossible for this kid. The horses love her and want to do well and so they respond to her in ways that at times is inspirational to watch. 

And I haven't even begun to touch on the fear and anxiety. At 4 years old Maddy started begging me to horseback ride. We started and she LOVED it, but after some unfortunate instances while she still desperately loved it, she was petrified. Her anxiety at times has been debilitating. On the day of Maddy's first lesson with Tammi, Tammi questioned me on if she really wanted to do this, because the fear was so bad. That first lesson and for many after she had a leader and two side walkers. Tammi laid awake so many nights thinking and praying for how to help a little girl find her love of riding again. Tammi made equipment changes, she made horse changes, she had days when she offered a little more love and support and so many days when she had to put aside her desire to comfort a little girl and instead pushed her refusing to let Maddy cave to the anxiety. 

Yesterday started much the same...Maddy was SO nervous to show independently. As Maddy sat on her horse to warm up, Tammi watched her start to fall apart as the fear gripped her. Tammi gave her the choice to show as we prepared or to change classes and go into the supported classes she has always been in previously. Maddy did what she always does and pushed herself to do what she is capable to do. I had no idea what had transpired as I watched my little rider enter the arena looking poised and confident. What everyone there saw a beautiful little rider, who is almost always the smallest and youngest ride a near perfect trail pattern. 

What people don't see is the heart of a warrior with a determination and tenacity that is unmatched. And a coach who is by her side every minute working incredibly hard to help a little girl believe in herself.

Ali