Alex and Maddy

Friday, May 31, 2024

A New Chapter

 This last few months I have walked through so many trials. I have been loved and supported by people I didn’t expect. And I have been hurt and cast aside by others who I thought would always be there for me. God gave me the greatest blessing by choosing me as Alex and Maddy's mother and they have taught me so much through the way they have handled adversity. I always want to be someone who they look up to and who they know tried her hardest. I hope I have shown them it is okay to laugh when you are happy and cry when you are sad and that the people who you want in your life will accept you and love you through the good and the bad. As my children have watched trusted adults in their lives not act in kindness, I have had the opportunity to reinforce to my children what it means to choose actions we can be proud of regardless of others actions or responses. I have spoken to them about Christ and what he taught us about how to treat others. I have followed their example and gotten back to choosing joy despite how I feel physically and how much I have been hurt by the treatment of others. I pray I have modeled forgiveness and conducted myself in a manner they can be proud of. I hope they see that we all have struggles and we all make mistakes, but that God has set the example for loving all and forgiving even when it is hard. I have made huge strides in learning to love myself and realize that with my faith I can survive anything. I have always been someone who wants to love and support others and be a place of kindness in a harsh world, but more than ever I have seen how much that is needed. I have learned to seek out others who appreciate my heart. To spend time with those who surround me with love and laughter. And ultimately to continue to grow in my faith and become more fully the woman God created me to be. 



Yesterday we received a letter letting us know that Maddy will no longer be allowed to be a rider in the program at Living Hope Equine Therapy. To say I was shocked and blindsided would be an understatement. As you can imagine Maddy was absolutely devastated. After her initial response and saying she never wanted to ride again, I watched the tiny warrior come to life. My kids have lived lives wrought with heartache and disappointment. They know all too well that life doesn't always turn out the way you hope, but they also know that God's plans are always for good even when we can't understand them. The hardest part for Maddy is that they didn't even allow her the opportunity to say goodbye to "her" horse. Maddy has loved and worked with PD tirelessly to build a bond and a mutual respect, and they have made huge breakthroughs over the past few months. But my precious little red head has had a fighter's spirit since day one. And so, we have already contacted and been accepted into another program. We have discussed goals and the future. She is looking forward with excitement and cannot wait to pour her love into a new horse and build another bond and continue to chase her goals and dreams. I could not be prouder of her resilience and strength. 



I will miss watching the special love they shared!


And so, as we begin this new chapter my prayer is that my children and I continue to shine Gods light and love in a dark world where so many people are hurting. So often the kindness of others can make a difference to someone who is struggling. I pray that God can use us to show others love, kindness and acceptance even when they feel like they are not enough. Please continue to pray for our family as we walk through this next time with so many uncertainties. 

Ali

Saturday, May 25, 2024

Fun week with Gramma and Grampa



 This was a fun week with Gramma and Grampa visiting from NC. We don't get to see Bruce's parents very often, so we tried to balance some fun sightseeing with enough down time for the kids to get to hang out and show them the places they love. We went to the barn so they could meet PD and watch Maddy ride, went to DBU to tour the campus, spent some time in the Stockyards and Grapevine. They even got to experience Buccee's.












I realized that last week I forgot to share Maddy's last day of school pictures! So here are a few of those. I cannot believe my sweet girl will be in Fifth grade in the Fall!





Maddy and Brooklyn

Maddy and her teacher, Mrs. Miller

Maddy and Elizabeth

Maddy and her principal, Mrs. Cook

In December when Living Hope had our silent auction I bid on and won a special portrait session with Park Hill Fine Arts Portraits. We received our portraits this week and couldn't be happier with how they turned out!


Finally, a medical update...The kids have had quite a few appointments over the past few weeks. Overall, they are both doing well and other than a few tweaks to medication dosages and Alex's TPN we don't want to rock the boat, so we are mostly status quo. As for me, the initial bloodwork for my cancer screening had an issue with the sample so I had to have my blood redrawn. It is now being processed and we hope to have results in the next week. My camera endoscopy is scheduled for Friday, this will take pictures of my entire GI tract and should give some answers regarding the cause of the gastric wall thickening that has been seen repeatedly on CT as well as help determine if I may have Crohn's Disease. Please pray that these tests yield some answers and direct treatment so I can get back to a healthier state.

We appreciate your love and prayers more than we can say.
Ali

Sunday, May 19, 2024

Working hard to make dreams come true

 Over the last several weeks I have spoken about how special it has been to watch Alex overcome so much to realize the miracle of attending college and living independently. This weekend I got to watch my sweet Maddy Moo work towards realizing dreams of her own.

Being an Equestrian is different then so many other sports because you compete and are judged with a partner who weighs over 100 pounds and has a mind of their own. For most of Maddy's competitions since starting she has competed in the supported division meaning she had a leader to help her control her horse and be a safety net should she have an issue. After her world show last year, she let Tammi know that her goal was to be able to compete in the independent division this year. Tammi was very honest with her and let her know that she would try and help her reach that goal, but safety came first and there was a good chance that she would still be supported this year. Competing walk trot independent at a world show is an extremely lofty goal for anyone but especially a ten-year-old. Tammi and Maddy have worked tirelessly over the past 9 months to try and help Maddy achieve what she has set her mind to. She took her first step in November at Appaloosa worlds where she did ride independently but she was able to be in a walk only class. Once again in January she competed in an independent walk only class. But walking only is not quite as difficult as competing walk trot. In both February and March, Maddy competed walk trot independent at our in-house barn shows. It was a big step forward, but being at home is very different than being at a large arena that is unfamiliar to the horses. Maddy also loves PD dearly, but PD is not always the easiest horse and will take advantage at any point she thinks she can get away with it. But Maddy has made it clear that PD is the horse she wants to show. Over the past several months I have watched Maddy work with a new attitude and a will and determination to make PD respect her and let her be the leader of their partnership. I have watched PD test her and try and take the lead and lesson by lesson Maddy has stepped up to show PD who is the boss. This weekend was Maddy's first show and a bit of a "test" to see if Maddy could handle herself and PD with composure and do what she is capable of under the pressure of a show. She passed that test with flying colors. When we arrived on Friday, she was extremely nervous. She told me multiple times that she didn't want to practice. I'm not sure I can quite explain and do justice to what a warmup arena at a horse show is like. There are a lot of horses all going different directions and practicing different disciplines and skills and you have to ride your horse and navigate through a maze of people not always sure where someone is headed. It is crazy enough that we haven't even had Maddy do an independent warmup at the past two in house shows. On Friday I watched that tiny little warrior step into the warmup arena and control her horse and her nerves like a pro. I cannot explain the feelings of watching her overcome her fears and push herself to reach the goals she has set. 








Yesterday was LONG and HOT which is another challenge for any rider, but especially for someone with Mitochondrial disease that causes significant fatigue and temperature regulation issues. But when my tenacious, stubborn girl sets her mind to something she finds a way through sheer determination. Her first class was showmanship which she is pretty seasoned in and though this was a bit of a hard pattern for her with lots of trotting she was not very nervous (and neither was I). Her second class was Western Pleasure and the first real test to see how she did on her own. As she mounted PD in the warmup area, I was so impressed with her as I watch her trot PD in circles and get her ready without the crutch of a coach or volunteer glued to her side. I saw Tammi and several other volunteers check in with her and saw smiles and high fives. As she entered the show pen it was with confidence. I watched her do exactly what she has been taught. She rode beautifully and handled herself with a maturity that belies her age and size. 







When it was time for horsemanship, I was really nervous for her. At the last several shows and, in many practices, horsemanship is when PD tends to act up and test her. Horses are herd animals and so in a class like Western Pleasure where there are multiple horses riding at the same time, they are comfortable. Horsemanship means separating from the pack. It requires a different kind of trust between horse and rider. As Maddy lined up to wait her turn her watched her take control and get PD's attention. Once again, they competed beautifully. 











By the time we got to trail it was well past Maddy's typical bedtime and she was exhausted. But as I said when that girl sets her mind to something she has no quit. This trail pattern had some tricky elements as well as some obstacles that make her a bit nervous. She is always worried for trail and especially when it is at the end of the day because she is tired, and her legs hurt and feel weak by that point. I reminded her that she was capable of doing this and her goal was just do her best and have fun and help her horse be better. Her trail pattern was the highlight of the day for me. Not everyone gets to see the effort and the struggle that Tammi and I witness during so many of these lessons. Her trail was amazing and such a reward for all of the hard work she has put in.










Tammi, Maddy and PD have worked so very hard for the past two years. There have been so many hard days. So many tears. So many obstacles overcome and so much growth as a rider and in maturity and independence. Up until this year every show has involved tears and so many nerves and lots of conversations about whether she was sure she wanted to show. This weekend was the fourth show that there have been no tears (except a few tears of joy when she was proud of herself or just plain exhausted). There are not enough words to express how very proud I am of my girl and how hard she works and how far she has come. 

I am so very grateful to Tammi, the other coaches and volunteers for their tireless work to make these shows happen and prepare these riders. I told the other families last night that my favorite part of horse shows is the support of our Living Hope Show Team. We always sit as a group in the stands and cheer each rider on. This is about so much more than shows and placings. Each of these riders face their own challenges and have all overcome so much. The growth in each rider and the improvement each show is so special to watch. I love that we put competition aside and celebrate each accomplishment together as a team and a barn family. That camaraderie and support is very special. 












As we left the arena last night, Maddy looked at me with big eyes and said, "Mom, do you think I did good enough that Tammi will let me show independent in Tulsa?"  I gave her a hug and with tears in my eyes told her that is her coaches decision, but that she did exactly what was asked of her and more in every way and I thought she would achieve the goal she set. What a gift it is to watch your children set goals and dreams and work with everything they have and watch that come to fruition. I thank God every day for the blessing of choosing me to be the mother to my special children. They have taught me so much and help make me better. What a special weekend this was.


Ali



PS- Special thanks to Rachel Hall for many of these amazing pics!